Pasture Still Life

Years ago I read an article that has stuck with all of this time. No, I don't remember the author – or even the publication – but, I remember the message. Don't get caught in the trap of living the life of "I'll be happy when…".

It's a simple statement. One that we slip into saying when things are rough. It may even be an attempt as positive reinforcement, such as when your child paints the wall in poo, or your spouse has been out of work for a while. "I'll be happy when they grow up a bit and don't cause me a bunch of problems." "I'll be happy when we can make ends meet and not have to choose between paying a bill and getting groceries."

We try to remind ourselves that life is not made up of trials, that there will be a time when these rough days will pass and we'll "laugh about this later". We try to remember to "just keep swimming." However, have you seen the movie Click, with Adam Sandler? When we focus on the future, trying to block out today, you miss out on Life. You forget that there is a difference between having a bad five minutes, and having a bad day. If you let the details of the moment overshadow everything else, then the good things are lost in the dark. Did you miss the look on your child's face when they tried to show you the poo art?

I am so thankful the Lord led me to that article while my children were still young. I still slip into the "I'll be happy when…" trap, but I usually recognize it and try to course correct. Like the time when my daughter was learning to drink from a real cup and spilt milk all over the chair, floor, and herself. All I could think was, "Shouldn't cry over spilt milk!" and I could barely stop laughing. My aunt was shocked. When her daughter was little she would have had a fit about the mess and cleanup. She wasn't trying to tell me I was wrong, but that when she was younger she didn't know any other way to be.

Some people don't understand my parenting "style". I don't seem to fit the mold for my age group. At 44 with an 8 and a 9 year old, I would normally fall into the older model of discipline. It is expected by my contemporaries to raise children that do not speak unless spoken to. It is better to be seen and not heard – better yet, neither seen nor heard. I grew up Southern, Christian, Military – I fully intended to NOT be the parent with the heathens. God had other plans.

My daughter has anxiety attacks. She was about 5 when I realized we had been forcing her to do things that truly terrified her. Matthew was diagnosed with high functioning autism, which means many people may not recognize that certain situations are confusing and reactions may not come naturally. Now that we know we can make adjustments.

Choose your battles. Ask yourself: would this happening change the course of our lives? We get so bogged down by the negative, we default to No. No, you can't have pancakes shaped like Mickey (when you're already making pancakes). No, you can't have seven ice cubes in your drink. No, you can't sit there and cut the paper into confetti. You have to eat the hotdog with the bun. You must…you can't…you have to. We get stuck in patterns of negativity.

I started trying to say Yes. Pick one simple thing out of the day to say, "Yes". There are certain rules that must be followed – giving respect to others, cleaning up messes after projects, eating something healthy during the day, etc. But, there are so many little things that bring joy that we miss because we are living for tomorrow. We have gap years where we've missed everything important. Life is more than working to pay bills. There are moments where we can take a mental snapshot of what we see, to accept and appreciate the family, life, and world that surrounds us every day.

I usually go out to feed our animals at early dusk. By the time I'm finished with the chores I can still see well, but it's definitely getting darker. At one point I cross over a canal and into the pasture and I always try to pause and LOOK, really look at what is in front of me. I'm almost always overwhelmed by the beauty. Sunset colors, flowers, grazing horses, flying egrets startled from my path…life through God's creation. As I pass through the pasture I have started taking pictures of some of the flowers and other still life moments. They are some of the most beautiful pictures I've ever taken – and they were during the times while I was working – while I was on my way somewhere else.

We've heard the cheesy clichés. Blink and you'll miss it. It's the journey – not the destination. Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. They become a cliché because they are true. But, we often lose sight of how to implement it – how to get from the "I'll be happy when…" to living the journey. I have a few suggestions.

Set an alarm for every few hours – when the alarm goes off take a moment to look around you and see something outside your immediate concern. You can take 2 seconds, or even a full minute. The point is it doesn't have to distract from your day – it becomes your day.

Say Yes. If you have children (or even a friend/spouse/roommate/dog) pick one thing that you would normally say No about, and say Yes instead.

Give real hugs, kiss cheeks and foreheads, and find characters in clouds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My son is folk music

Fantastic article. I wholeheartedly agree that there is a terrible gap of information/knowledge surrounding the term “autism”. In some ways, I understand why different labels within the spectrum were removed in 2014. Aspergers, and other conditions, all fall within the same umbrella diagnosis of “autism”. 

“My child has autism” is now like saying “My child has music”. The conversation then becomes overwhelmed with how autism is diagnosed, what forms are prevalent, etc. similar to how the word “music” doesn’t fully describe what I’m listening to today. 

Music has genre names that give you a quick understanding – rock, classical, 80’s, urban country, grunge. 

So, my daughter is Jazz, and my son Folk. 
http://medicinetimes.info/2016/05/08/my-son-has-the-kind-of-tas-aout-term-life/

And Life moves along

I’ve not written in years. No earth shattering events stilled my keys, there has only been the inevitable progress of life. Kids grow, jobs change, focus shifts and it seems that there is never enough time to catch up until you realize it’s all so different you might as well start over. So here I am.

We still have a farm, and I am still prepper minded. However much of a constant that may be, it’s not what currently drives me. As a summation, my children are now 8 and 7 and my son was diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). His symptoms would be considered mild by most, but they still have an impact on our life.

I’ve started homeschooling and that is a journey of it’s own. We are still defining our curriculum, but seem to mostly work from allinonehomeschool.com

In truth, there is no telling at this point which way my mind may wander, but I thought it best to put my feet on the path.

 

Honor your mother

I had a friend tell me they would never go to church because of the commandment that they honor (love) their mother. Due to terrible things that happened in their childhood they felt they could never do that and they would therefore be in a perpetual state of sinning.
First off – we are all sinners. Believing in Christ and accepting him as your savior doesn’t mean you’ll never sin. (That can be a long discussion – pin it for some other time)
As for the Commandment, my understanding is “Honor your mother and father – and your days will be long in the land your God has given you”. In some ways this reads more as a promise than a commandment. Also, the land “given” MAY be interpreted as heaven, not here on Earth.
To my point.
Honor is not love. Honor, to me, is that you wouldn’t do anything to harm or embarrass them. You will treat and speak of them with respect. You do not have to love (or even like) someone to respect them. There is a lot of debate (I’m sure) if my interpretation, but if it helps someone who wasn’t blessed with a mother like mine then it was worth posting.

Red Flags

I have my own feelings about “global warming” (cycles people, cycles are normal – no need to flame if you feel otherwise, My wall – My opinion) That being said, I do believe that we need to pay attention to red flags like this article. Eventually, this WILL affect us. Be it weather or food we need to be prepared.

stranded pups
So often, articles like this are reported only in fringe media and are completely ignored by mainstream news reports. It isn’t until we’re getting smacked with high hurricane numbers or droughts and monsoons that kill our crops that some anchor “person” says “Gee, this strange weather came out of NOWHERE”. Your neighbor is wondering why you feel the need to stock up on corn and water? Maybe because you took the time to pay attention while they were spending $999 on that spiffy new pool from the local Wally World.
I admit, my prepping isn’t close to what I would like. I’ve been too easily side tracked by family illness, death, and unemployment. But, at least when I do have a windfall (tax return) I put it into preparedness, improving rabbit hutches and buying animals that will help us through these lean times.
Am I foretelling food shortages and strange weather patterns? Honey, we already have those. If you’re reading this you probably already know that. I’m just highlighting that so much flies under the radar for our friends and neighbors because mainstream media doesn’t think it’s important enough to report. Beyonce’s newest hairdo is more newsworthy. I don’t believe they are doing any favors for their watchers when they focus on “reactive” reporting instead of giving warning, being “proactive”, which could be the saving grace for a family that might otherwise fail.

What to do with loved ones?

I love this idea 🙂 sure, the t-shirt is a joke, but honestly I have been wondering what to do with my sister after the zombie apocalypse. She refuses to keep a back stock of anything – much less a couple months worth of food. I figure she’ll be one of the first to have to leave cover and try to find supplies.
It can be a bit frustrating when financially it’s hard enough on our minimal income to store for our own immediate family. My sister has always been interested in learning a variety of skills (from candle making to soap crafts). For long term survival her skills will be a great addition. However, how does that help if we run out of food because she doesn’t see a need to store for her family. They have a family of six, and although she is a wiz at shopping on a tight budget, a delay of even 2-3 days for her “big” grocery trip leaves the cupboard bare and everyone scrounging by on crackers and peanut butter.

Political Koolaid

On Sunday, at church, a CD showed up from nowhere (or at least no one owned up to it 😉 – It had a medley of patriotic songs like America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner. It became our entrance music and our starting point for the day. It was amazing how moved we all were. It came to my mind that we are entering one of the most heated political elections that has taken place in our country. A time when we probably need a bit more guidance from above rather than blindly trusting what we’ve convinced ourselves to be true.
In some ways this is bad. Normally sane people find themselves slinging mud and even blindly parroting political spin simply because it is put out by their “party”. Fights, or at least strong words, are coming between friends and families where BOTH people have most of the SAME values. You can’t help but think someone slipped a Micky in their Koolaid, or maybe it’s just an invasion of Pod people.
All parties (for even Independents have weighed in with some ugly statements) are putting the strongest spin they can on each and every point of fact – real or imagined. Looked at from a distance it is stunning how someone can attack a leader with an accusation that can be applied to their own candidate, yet still whip their followers into a frenzy. Once someone has chosen a camp they dutifully put on their blinders and parrot the party line.
That being said, there may be some good to come out of this hoopla. I remember a comic that had a pollster asking “How do you feel about ignorance and apathy in America?” the response : “I don’t know and I don’t care”.
I have been blessed to have spent some time in other countries. How does America rate on turnout at elections? We’re number 55 on the list when you compare us to the world. Democracy is based on finding the opinion of the majority of the people effected. How can that be found when barely more than half of the voters take the time to show up? So on the good hand, maybe this season we will see stronger turnouts and get a more accurate idea of what people want – in a perfect world.
However, this brings us full circle to the question of spin and truth. So many people are following (and “share-ing/pin-ing”) their media of choice. So few are researching facts on their own.

No matter who you support, I ask you to take a step back today. Look at the arguments with fresh eyes. Research a bit to try and dig for some truth. It’s not easy to find right now. Otherwise, Our voting may show less of what voters want and more of who has the strongest Kool-aid.

Diaper bag first aid kit

Today I was refilling the first aid kit I carry in my purse (or diaper bag) and realized that although many of us carry first aid kits in our car and go bag, few people keep one at hand at all times.
Oftentimes we don’t carry one because it’s inconvenient and the prepackaged options just never seem to have what we need.
What I did was take a small (3″X4″) hard sided box I found in a Johnson & Johnson baby pack. In truth, an Altoids case would probably carry most of what you need. If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to see them in the comments so we could all benefit.

Inside the box I have:
3 Butterfly Cosures (Steri-Strips)
10 full size band aids
1 2X2 gauze
2 diabetes lancets
2 Triaminic cough and cold dissolving strips (nicely packaged in individual servings)
2 cough drops
1 small tube of triple antibiotic cream

If you are using something small, like an Altoids or Sucrets tin, the triple antibiotic will be the hardest thing to include. I suggest checking for individually packaged “packs”.
Since I have two toddlers that spend an entire season with sinus problems, the cold medicines are a necessity. We also need the full size triple antibiotic cream for all the resulting scrapes and bug bites. No matter how much bug spray I use, Mosquitos will find my kids in the dead of winter.
I use the lancets for all kinds of things like splinters and blisters (they make a hole large enough to release pressure, but heals quickly enough to leave the spot protected).
Although you can get a snack size ziplock, I really suggest something hard sided to make sure everything stays in good packaging.
Thinking about it I should keep one set of all of my normal daily medications and I’ll look around the house for something to separate them in the box.
Keep in mind, I have a backpack in the car with a “full size” first aid kid. That one has a weeks worth of my meds, stretchy wrap, pain killers, and even up to stitching materials. There’s a few other good ideas in that one, so I may share that later.
Hope this helps you come up with a few other good ideas.

The day of a farm wife

I’ve always said we live on a farm, not a ranch, despite the horses and donkeys. The majority of our energy goes to taking care of the chickens, goats, rabbits, a turtle, and the dog. I step out my back door to toss out potato peelings and crushed egg shells and it looks like a scene from “The Birds”. Instead of crows we have a large flock of Rhode Island Reds and Domineckers (hmm probably don’t have that last one right, but that’s what my husband calls them).

If you have to be wary of poop out the back door I think it’s more a farm.
Anyways! Yesterday I felt I had a day of accomplishment. I started the day making costumes for the church play this weekend. That may not sound like farm stuff, but my sewing machine had a workout rather than buying costumes. Then I gave my husband and son haircuts. Next I finished cutting all the squares I need for the quilt project I’m working on. This is my first foray into quilting and I can chalk it up to learning a new skill and repurposing out grows and fabric scraps. Oh! By this point I’ve cooked two meals. Next we harvested and plucked 4 roosters that were giving our big boy hassles. We rotated some of the “harem hens” to see if we have another good setter. By this point it was dark so we cleaned all the plucking area to try to not entice the raccoons (blasted things keep avoiding the traps and getting into the trash).
Once we moved into the house I did a good scrubbing of my arms up to the shoulder (no time for a shower, yet). Next I cooked dinner, put away dishes and cleaned those in the sink, and quarter the chickens. Did I mention I did all 3 of those at the same time? Or that I sliced my finger pretty good in the process? I set up plates for the kids and let my husband and a visiting friend that dinner was ready and jumped in the shower (half of that was cold after doing those dishes). Finally, I sat down to eat. Then bathed the kids.
Today I am canning those chickens, and starting to piece together the quilts.
Some people don’t seem to realize how much work goes into those “free eggs and meat”.
Lest you think I’m complaining, I’m not. I’m bragging. I feel a definite feeling of accomplishment. My 4 year old daughter ran up and told me I was the best Mommy ever. She also said the plucked chickens looked like rabbits. Now, let’s just see how today goes!

A worried Prepper

As I’ve said before, I’ve been prepping to prep for most of my life. I’ve seen the soundness of preparing for unforeseen situations. I’ve usually kept an emergency bag in the car. I try to keep all important papers in one spot (I really need to get all of those scanned to a jump drive for my go bag). I’ve always felt uncomfortable, if not down right twitchy, if I don’t have bulging pantries. I’ve even gathered an eclectic skill set and am always looking for more things to learn or familiarize myself with the basics. My parents tend to the same mindset. And then, there’s my sister.
I’ve always known she and I have been different in many ways. We joke we’re opposite sides of the same penny. We take different paths, but usually to the same destination. Since she is also a skill gatherer, and a master penny pincher, I’ve thought she would also jump on the “consciously prepping” bandwagon along with me. She already lives on the same 20 acre homestead with my parents and me. Boy, was I wrong.
She doesn’t berate me for my preps, and she acknowledges the uncertainty of our economy and possibility of natural disasters (we live on the Texas Gulf Coast). However, she refuses to “stock up”. We’ve discussed it in the past, and she says she doesn’t want all that “clutter”.
I’ve worried she wouldn’t be prepared if something does go wrong. She, and her family, are people I could never turn away in an emergency situation. It has never been more obvious to me how inadequate her panty is until our conversation this morning.
She has her three daughters and her husband living in her home. Last night they had to girls spending the night at their house. Having planned breakfast burritos for dinner, they discovered they only had 9 eggs to feed seven people. My sister ended up only getting two small breakfast sausages as her meal. There was not enough to around. Since today is grocery shopping day they were at the point where the pantry was empty.
As an older sister, it was hard not to slip into the ” I told you so” attitude. I know from prior experience that she is as stubborn as a boulder if you point out her failings. So all I can do is sit back, try to increase our back stock, and worry.